by Joy Asegieme
Bucket lists?
You’ve undoubtedly heard about them. From the typical New Year’s Resolution to 10 Things I Want To Do In My Thirties. You know the usual travel to Paris, learn French, go skydiving and things like that. I do this at least twice every year, and every time, I realize that I have not ticked off most of the things on my list, which leads to a sense of fear and FOMO. So now, instead of making the classic Bucket list, I decided on a last-minute switcheroo. I decided to list things I DO NOT want to do before I die.
Quit Street Food
This is one thing that is on most people’s bucket list, followed closely by eating healthy, and while I strive to be a healthier version of myself, it is not particularly easy. I know that most street foods are not the most hygienic, but they always taste better.
Get a Tattoo of Someone’s Name
I can go on a whole rant about why no one should ever even consider doing this, but I feel like there is no point, but I will still rant anyway. Personally, this is one thing I don’t see myself doing. We live in a society of las las na everybody go chop breakfast. While I don’t necessarily subscribe to this belief, it is always better to be safe than sorry. I don’t ever, and I mean ever, see myself getting a lover or friend’s name tattooed on my skin. People are forever moving mad, and laser removal is freaking expensive.
This does not mean I can’t get a tattoo with a significant other or a close friend, but I draw the line at getting someone’s name inscribed into my skin.
Become Vegan
You may think that I am just solely against being healthy, but I promise that is not the case. Not only do I follow the Chloe Ting challenge three times a week, but I also try as much as I can to eat as healthy as possible. But quitting meat? Ha! I know that being vegetarian is a lot more than not eating meat, but I don’t want to even pretend to be that. Most of my diet consists of eating meat, or other kinds of animal produce. I love what the vegetarians are doing, but unfortunately, I love my meat too much.
Stop Watching Cartoons
I can’t count on one hand how many times I’ve heard people say that cartoons are for kids. Although more and more people are slowly joining the cartoon bandwagon, it is something I know won’t change anytime soon.
Write a Horror Novel
I have dabbled once or twice in writing gory short stories, and to be honest, I feel like I am a TERRIBLE horror writer. As much as I love watching horror movies, I just don’t have the talent to write a horror novel. Once it is getting past five thousand words — which is a little too generous — I give it a rest.
Give up wired earphones
This is pretty self-explanatory. There is just something about having wires connecting your earphones. Not only does it save your phone from falling face flat on the floor, but it also has a vintage feel. I’m in no way hating on the new wireless earphones, but wired earphones have my heart, and I don’t see myself letting go of that trend anytime soon.
Going back to an ex
This is strongly on my anti-bucket list, and I know that there is a never say never saying, but this just feels like something I would never do. An ex is an ex for a reason.
Swim with Sharks
I still cannot phantom how this is at the top of anyone’s bucket list. After everything I have seen and read about the ocean, this is one of the last things I will ever see myself do.
There are still so many more things that I would not see myself doing which is one of the best things about an anti-bucket list. It is intensely personal. You don’t have to worry and put too much pressure on yourself to try and get everything done on your bucket list. Instead, you can just stick to your anti-bucket list. It is simple and without any pressure.