The dating pool is a very crowded place and for broke young men, you have to have something else to offer. The road to a man’s heart has been said to be through his stomach, but who said it isn’t the road into a woman’s soul too.

Here’s the top 5 choices Nigerian men have been using to score points with their soulmates:

Noodles
Have you ever met a Nigerian man who hasn’t bragged about how rich his noodles are? They take extra points for themselves when they slice two pieces of carrots into it in what they call the grand garnishing of the millennium. One or two eggs, sliced with their blunt knife in the middle and they’ll offer you a plate, expecting a barrage of thank you to follow.

    Spaghetti clumps
    For some reason, they have no idea how to cook spaghetti without making it clump together. After trying and failing at making it look like a professional chef’s serving, they might pick a couple of hotdogs and bellpepper to chop on it. Heavens help you if they’ve been promising you this for a while. Just swallow the onions and smile.

    Concoction rice
    This is exactly why Nigerian men will keep getting the boxers and singlets as gifts. There’s literally zero efforts put into making meals. All they do is wait for the food to burn. You might mistaken the burnt rice as a sign of good things to come, but trust me, it’s a flash of the horror that is about to hit your taste buds. Hot chili peppers and oil to drown your arteries.

    Eba and whatever they get hold of
    This is literally the fastest mixture of hot water they can bring to life. It’s always worst when there’s been a number of promises on how they make the meanest swallow. One drop of soup here and there and okro to help you swallow the sorrow they’ve just served you in a plate.

    Garri and vibes
    The real ones don’t even bother faking culinary skills. They just straight up tell you that you’ll be downing a lot of garri when you pay them a visit. If they’re nice enough, they’ll get some fried meat or fish to support it, but if they’re testing if poverty would fit you, just look forward to your groundnut.