49th Guide To: Getting Engaged this season

The internet hasn’t gotten a breathing space for the mere mortals since the phrase “I said yes” became some buzzword. If you’re yet to say yes to a proposal; whether a wedding proposal or food proposal, you’d probably feel like a hermit with little to no hope. Here’s your way out of the trenches of the unengaged:

1. Threaten them:

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If you’ve been with your partner for more than five working days, then they should have started picking out a proposal ring. If they act otherwise, then start working on your threat letter. Give them an ultimatum of twelve hours and see wonders happen.

2. Buy the ring for yourself

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It’s the era of hiding the face of your partner, to avoid the evil eye of your haters. Order the ring off the internet, wear it on your fingers and act surprised. Extra points if you can bring up a few teardrops, or include a selfie video where you keep mouthing “oh my God, I can’t believe this”, then hit send.

3. Throw hints all over the place

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Start sending your partner wedding videos. Create a mood board for all the beautiful wedding ideas in your head, then send it to them. Ask what they think about you in a silk dress, or what rings look best to compliment your skin tone. If they don’t pick up the hint, write it on cardboard and stick it to their forehead.

4. Join their family

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On some days, you just need to go for the full-on energy. Introduce yourself to your would be-in-laws, and be on your best behaviour. Throw a few remarks on how you’re ready to start the happiest family on the planet to ensure their happiness.

5. Tell them you’ve said yes

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The ring can come later. Inform your partner that you’re now engaged to them and there’s nothing they can do about it. They can meet you on the aisle when they’ve processed the information. All congratulatory messages are welcome.

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