One of the most annoying things you might have to go through on a Monday morning is going to your bank to file a complaint. Maybe the POS guy down your street swears that the 2k you tried getting from him is hanging in the air and being held tightly by your bank, so you have to go down there and beg them before you perish in poverty. There’s at least five other types of people you’d find in there;
- The ones that know the gateman and everyone that works in the hall
These guys don’t even wait outside the bank. They’ve created the rapport with the security guys by dropping tips regularly for the rainy days. So while you’re there complaining that the queue is not moving, you’ll see the manager coming down to see if they’ve attended to the guy in kaftan. It’s the dollarzzzzz speaking.
- The ones that never return your pen or ask you fill tellers for them
When you jam these ones, just hold them by their shirts. Some would even argue with you about your own biro ownership. They will pocket anything you give them and feign one simple “ohh” when your ancestors remind you to grab it from them.
- The ones that came to beat the manager
These ones came in with a mission – to bring hell down. The first thing they start saying after walking into the banking hall and spending all of 5 seconds with the secretary is “Where’s the manager?? This is an insult to me. Who do you think you’re addressing??” Blah blah blah, all na scam.
- Those that came to toast the fine cashier
There’s typically that one guy that is spending too much time filling his form wrongly and speaking in low tones to the beautiful cashier or secretary. Like bruhhh, she won’t give you her number.
- The ones that want to jump the queue, while ranting about how Nigeria is never going to be good and egg is now ₦70
These guys came to the bank to watch CNN and they specialise in distracting you from the true arrangement of the queue while discussing the next general elections which they definitely have no plans in participating.