For young Nigerians living in Nigeria, the concept of joy might seem abstract and out of reach. From plummeting naira to rising house rents, dissatisfaction has become a familiar tune. At times like this, it is necessary for Nigerians to find and hold onto joy to weather each day.
In search of joy, we spoke to five Nigerians who tell us how they are finding joy in a country defined by chaos and the things that fill them up with warmth. They dropped some gems, teaching us how to change perspective and live truly rich lives.
Ore
For Ore, the key to finding joy is an intense search: “I look for it like a bastard.” She chases after joy because the other side of it is despair and numbness, both feelings she does not fare well with. It also helps that she doesn’t see joy as fleeting happiness or “ecstasy. It just feels to me like an internal state of equilibrium where I’m content and not super anxious.”
Her quest for joy means that she does the things that bring her joy despite it costing her on a few occasions. And sometimes she engages in these activities begrudgingly. However, a big part of her joy is defined by her discipline and commitment.
There are a few things that bring the 30-year-old joy. Food is one of them “I spend too much on food but what can I do?” Although the economy has affected both the price and quality of food outside, it has pushed her to make her own food more. An outcome she enjoys. As an act of self-care, Ore schedules time with friends on her calendar. Books, essays and poetry are another avenue for the Operations Manager to experience joy. “Reading fills me with a lot of joy and sometimes it helps me dissociate too.”
Sports plays a role in her joy; “Moving my body helps a lot, whether it’s taking walks or doing yoga.” She recently started playing tennis. She often begins with a grudge but at the end of each session, she is better for it. And for the cherry on top, the splurge. “The key to not unaliving yourself is having something planned, whether it’s brunch with friends or girls’ night or an order for something I want or need.”
Ore ends our discussion with a tip: dissociation. “For weeks on end, I refuse to listen to news and I skip past it on social media too.” Life is hard and being a Nigerian in Nigeria is harder but Ore has learnt to find joy by collecting it in pockets of mundane things.
Bayo
Bayo’s life is guided by three principles that put him at joy’s front door. He believes in the power of delusion in uplifting the mood. “Delulu is and has always been the solulu.” A man of spontaneity, he sees routine as borne of the devil. Lastly, “ignorance is bliss”
In finding and holding onto joy, Bayo lives in the moment. He does the things that makes him happy and that includes seeing his people at least once at recurring events or actually planning to meet. The 25-year-old relies heavily on his tribe “Have groups of people who like the same things you do; they will make you feel less insane.”
Like Ore, the freelancer also tries to stay clear of bad news: “Bad news is everywhere; I don’t internalise it. It might not be the best but I avoid what I can.” He is also strongly convinced that blowing up your life sometimes is important; “We constantly battle against inertia each day and if you are too scared to do something drastic, you will always be stuck in the motions.”
Treasure
Perspective has helped shape the way Treasure experiences joy: “I don’t think the world dislikes me. Sure, it can be stubborn and unyielding but I think perspective plays a key role in how much of life can be enjoyed.” She holds a fierce belief that states that believing the world likes you increases your surface area of joy.
The 25-year-old finds joy by nurturing her inner child: “I give to the parts of me that are whimsical and childlike.” Treasure posits that oftentimes we are too bothered by the self-image we have crafted meticulously that we overthink ourselves out of enjoying simple but awe-inspiring moments that feed us. “When you allow yourself to stop thinking too much and give in, you can create many joy filled moments.”
The content marketer’s opinion on joy mirrors Ore’s to some extent, as she believes joy is something that can be cultivated. “You don’t always have to wait like a reactive agent. You can find a glimmer of happiness and chase it.” This chase is guided by four core thoughts: curiosity, peace, laughter and nostalgia. “If it makes you curious, if it gives you peace, if it causes you to laugh, if it reminds you of simpler times chase it.”
Her joy is made whole by simpler things like meeting up with friends, spending time with family, food, watching movies and the freedom to move, be and do. Treasure’s joy is summarised by simplicity. Ordinary things can be beautiful.
EF
As a founder and HR manager, Ef tries to live outside the margins of a typical 9-5ner. He attended twenty weddings within eight days in December. His joy is hinged on two things: interest and community. EF describes himself as a multi-expressive person and his interests dictate how he interacts with joy. He is interested in poetry, literature, K-drama and other things and these interests enrich his life.
His interests extend to community. “When people hear ‘community’, they think of something grand. For me it’s attending Ouida Open Mic every third Thursday of the month and going for literary events.” His community is built around his interests and a bit of spontaneity. He believes community can help people live rich lives: “Join a salsa class, learn Zumba, register for swimming class.”
The thirty-year-old tries to strike a balance between enjoying his solitude and showing up for people. “There is a way our brain works when we look forward to doing things.” He concludes that our experience with joy rests on our shoulders and to find it, we must chase after it.
Mimi
Friendship is the major source of Mimi’s joy. “Finding joy in Nigeria is hard because it feels like so many things are against us but I try to find happiness in small ways and one of the biggest ways is through my friends.”
Friendships give the 25-year-old product designer a strong sense of community. When it feels like she is drowning, her friends help her come up for air. “Even when life feels tough, I know I can count on them. If I don’t have money or I’m feeling sick, they show up for me.”
In a country full of crisis and instability, it is this circle of love and support that has helped her live a rich and meaningful life.
Living in a country that seems to have no care for its people can be excruciating; deeply excruciating, that despair becomes quite easy to reach. However, it is important to attempt to live lives that feel rich even in the smallest ways. For these Nigerians it’s little things like reading poetry, hanging out with friends, attending weddings and listening to music. They prove that the key to cohabiting with joy is to realise that so much of life’s beauty lies in its mundanity.
