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The 49th Guide To: Establishing yourself as pack leader.

Recent Twitter posts seem to suggest that a lot of you fancy yourselves as competition against wolves, and hence the buzz about being the leader of their pack, either by being an alpha male or a divine female. To guide you into your journey into wolverine, here are a few tips:

  1. Always feed your pack
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There’s no pack without food, and so your wallet must always be open. With your new armband as leader of your pack, you have to understand that you’re now the one that feeds your people. And no, you can’t ask for a refund. A well-fed pack is a happy pack.

2. Defend your subordinates:


If you’ve not started training how to defend your members, then it’s time to start taekwondo lessons. You should be standing in front with your captain armband and being the master defender always. Make sure you’re always in charge and maybe howl from time to time.

3. Make sure your house is big enough:


Leadership comes with sacrifices and one of the biggest sacrifices you can come up with is living with other people. You have to own a house that is big enough to accommodate all your friends and their extended families for as long as they want. When they try to thank you, remind them that you’ve taken it as a duty to look out for your members.

4. Discipline your pack members:


You can’t have your friends misbehaving where you are the boss. Who cares if they’re also adults? You have to ensure they live by your rules and when they don’t, stop giving them their allowance for one week or ask them to stick an apology note on their forehead.

5. Buy crown for yourself:


If no one would acknowledge you as the toughest one among your friends, then do it yourself. All you have to do is walk to a welders shop and have him measure your head, then request for the shiniest crown they can make for you. Stud it with diamond stones for extra effects. That’s how you establish yourself as alpha.

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