Getting out of Nigeria is the Nigerian dream, but unfortunately, most of you spend more time fantasizing about it than actually putting in the work. You won’t close your eyes and wake up in your true home country one day, you have to do something! Here are 5 tips for getting out of this Sapa trap:
- Move to one of the border towns –
The easiest way out of the country is by foot and this would only work out perfectly if you’re living at the border. You don’t have to worry a lot about having an international passport either; whenever you hear ridiculous news about cows in the country, just take a stroll out into your backyard and enjoy the air in Niger or Benin Republic for a fresh start.
2. Apply to work as an aeroplane assistant –
I’m not exactly sure how the dynamics of this work but every plane should require a gateman to hold on to crazy people that want to open the door when the plane is like 100000 feet above the ground. You should definitely ask for the job and load people’s luggage for them onto the plane. Whenever the plane reaches your true home country, just carry your load and run away. Don’t look back.
3. Get a motorcycle –
I believe you’d have watched one of those action movies where the main star tells the girl he’s in love with to hop on his motorbike while they escape a burning country, so that’s exactly what you’d be doing. Just save money and buy one ugly motorbike to avoid attention. And make sure the tires are designed for desert riding. Then vava voom out into the Sahara.
4. Become Einstein overnight –
Way back in the 20th century, Einstein had a point in his life when different countries were offering him citizenship because he was so intelligent and they needed him on their side. Maybe you can plug your brain and hit a high voltage to charge it to that level so that they’ll rush you for citizenship too.
5. Save the life of a foreign ambassador –
You can picture how this goes: a foreign ambassador or head of state visits and for some “unforeseen circumstances” which you absolutely know nothing about (deny any knowledge of finding out his schedule beforehand), save him from falling concrete.
He’d invite you to the embassy and ask you to visit the queen of England for special appreciation.
One rule fits all of this though; when you go, run and don’t look back.
