by Nwadike Precious
Being in a long-distance relationship can be difficult, you may feel lonely, disconnected, neglected or you may feel like you are not getting the support you need from your partner.
Guess what? You are not alone.
Long-distance relationships are becoming more and more common with the advancement of technology and social media but it takes a lot of work to keep these relationships healthy. These 5 secrets for a healthy long-distance relationship will help both you and your partner connect and grow closer over time and keep the romance alive.
1. Daily Communication
One of the things you need to know about happy relationships is that it always has to move forward. Both partners need to add new things to a relationship to keep it exciting and fun. There are many ways to help a relationship grow, but nothing beats communication, especially in a new relationship.
Owing to the fact that you can’t see each other physically, any slight drop in communication is usually obvious and exaggerated. It is in the place of communication that you get to understand your partner, how they think, their approach to things etc.
A saying says that “you give time to what/who you love”. Keep the communication fresh, utilize all social platforms. Take advantage of postpaid SIM cards that allow for free communication upon subscription. Have regular video calls too. As much as possible, minimize discussing sensitive issues via chat, let it be a call or a video call so that the expressions can be understood clearly.
Intimate your partner with your schedule, day to day activities and all the gists that come along. Communication should be as much as you need to stay connected; the goal is to be there even when you can’t actually be there.
2. Know your partner’s friends.
Research shows that more than 50% of persons in long-distance relationships develop jealousy towards their partner’s local friends, often complaining that they spend too much time with them.
The secret to this is for you to make efforts to know your partner’s friends and introduce your important friends to your partner.
This action alone will breed transparency, heal your jealousy and that of your partner, and help set boundaries mostly with those of the opposite gender.
The place of sincerity can never be overemphasized.
3. Make out time for Regular Physical visits.
One of the things that kill long-distance relationships is the constant underlying uncertainty of everything. Uncertainty will make you think, “Is this all worth it?” “Does she still feel the same way about me as she did before?” “Is he secretly meeting other girls without me knowing?” “Am I kidding myself with all of this? Maybe we’re horrible for each other and I don’t know it.”
The longer you are apart, the more these uncertainties can grow into legitimate existential crises.
When trying to make any long-distance relationship work, it’s crucial to always have some date that you are both looking forward to. Trust me, it has a way of calming down a lot of tension and feeling of being neglected; there is this relaxation that spending quality time together gives. The visits do not have to be too frequent; twice or three times a year will do.
You both can engage in the following activities during your dates: browsing a bookstore, attending a comedy show, taking long walks, visiting a museum, going out for a picnic, trying new restaurants, playing outdoor or indoor games, attending music concerts etc.
4. Get Accountability Parties
One sign of an unhealthy relationship is when to a large extent, it is looking like a secret cult.
Each of you should bring at least one person, probably a mentor, a spiritual figure or a couple whose marriage you admire. This also involves informing members of your family about your relationship. Introduce your partner to them and inform them about the relationship. Give them the license to check up on you guys once in a while and also provide counselling when necessary. They do not have to interfere in any of your decisions but their presence matters alot.
As long as you want that relationship to progress, introduce your partner to your siblings and parents and also compel them to do the same. There should be no rush to the parental introductions though, most especially for those with harsh parents. Give your partner enough time to do these introductions but make sure he/she is not boxing you or trying to hide you from important persons in his/her life.
5. Give frequent gifts
As controversial as it sounds, even the Bible agrees that gifts are a way to a man’s heart. No matter how little, show your partner that you care, that you are thinking about them. Sometimes it’s not just about the gift but the giver, the presentation and the occasion when it was presented.
On occasions like birthdays, your anniversary, dates etc, get something little, something that your partner cherishes or something that he/she always mentions indirectly that is needed badly. It doesn’t have to be luxury items, it’s just a way of letting him/her know that you are a part of their lives, you know exactly what he or she is going through and what they need.
Affordable gift items include; wristbands, customized jewellery bearing your partner’s name, nickname or image, customized T-shirts with your partner’s name or business brand name, customized household items like mugs, food trays from fast-food vendors, written notes containing poems, and meal tickets in his or her favourite restaurant.
Long-distance relationships have been around for ages and have come to stay. It has birthed many beautiful marriages and families. It is your duty to understand what works for you, utilize these blueprints and make the best out of your relationship.