Valentine is right here already, where is your lover? It’s valentine’s day and it has become almost important to either get a partner to disappear from the surface of the internet. The tension from pictures of “me and mines” and gift vendors curating boxes that are designed to rip out your pockets is thick in the air and some of you can’t stand it.

Here are 5 things you can do if the internet is choking you:

Stay on your bed:


Netflix and chill with a comedy. Try to avoid romance in all forms. It’s best for you not to torture yourself by going out that evening because your blood will boil and there’s nothing you can do about it, dear.

Carry your bestie and chill:


For those of you that are fortunate to be in the same situation as your bestie; without a partner and hopeless for a while to come, this is the time to prove your love to your friend. Get a ticket to a romantic outing and become the awwwwn and “God when” crew for other couples. Who knows? You might get your own love and leave your bestie stranded in the singles box.

Call your favourite ex:


There is no better time to mess with your exes than now. This is when you pick up the phone and send that “I miss you” text. Just try not to do this with a toxic ex. You might end up resolving your fallout and then before you know it, you’re out there planning your wedding party. You’re welcome!

Go to your Religious centre:


This works if you believe in the moral laws guarding romance. It’s most likely that your religious centre has organized a programme for you to keep you occupied for the day. It’s a Monday anyway, but if your heart can’t take it anymore; maybe you just had a bad breakup and you want to tear someone apart, this is when you go to pray to God.

Productivity over romance


It’s a Monday!! This is the time to get into tech. Start a programming course and bury yourself in learning how to code. The tech money must reach you too. Love will find you when you get your startup funding and you get listed as the 30 under 30 Forbes release. Billionaire boys club wins over love, always.