In Nigeria right now, there’s a serious global warming showdown. In fact, it’s more of boiling than warming with how off the charts the weather has been. One minute you’re about to pull your shirt off and lie naked under a mango tree because of how hot everything gets, and the next minute harmattan is threatening to freeze you to death.
At the moment, it’s the roasting heat that we have to deal with. Here’s tips on how to survive frying under the sun:
1. Hands free umbrellas
There’s this really nice and aesthetically pleasing umbrella that was quite common some years ago where you just need to wear it directly on your head and roam about the sun like you don’t care.
Especially if you can’t afford to buy sunscreen or you just don’t care if your melanin becomes burnt dodo under these scorching sun rays, you can as well just get a handsfree umbrella.
2. Soak your bed in water
You might appear like you’ve peed on yourself if Chioma suddenly comes knocking in the middle of the night that there’s a snake in the compound, but at least you won’t be dying of heat. Just soak your bed with water and you have a portable waterbed in your home in Agege. Even Micheal Jackson has nothing on you.
3. Buy a battery powered fan
I’m quite sure there would be a price hike on these by now, considering how handy they come. If you can’t afford to buy one, just steal one when no one is looking.
4. Open all your windows at night
There are two evils to deal with every night around here: Mosquitoes and heat. The Lord help you if your electricity supply is in the hands of an unfortunate company. You have to pick the lesser evil – letting yourself up as a martyr to these blood-sucking demons, rather than dying of heat. And yeah, ensure you’re sleeping naked or it’s pointless.
5. Sleep outside
There’s something fundamentally wrong with our buildings here in Nigeria; it’s like the civil engineers forget from time to time that we’re sub-saharan and there’s something like a heat wave which gets worse with the kind of poor ventilation in most houses.
If your room is one of those deluxe medemede with one twenty-inch window in one corner, just carry your mat outside and sleep. What’s the worst that could happen? Robbers? Snakes? They can’t do you nothing.
