Keeping fit is a big hassle for a lot of you and every ten working days, you see a banger body on the internet and promise to start your thirty-day streak to grow your own muscles. The thing is you’re too lazy and you will not get that banger body if you don’t do any of these:
- Go on a garri fiesta:
You don’t have to go on a hunger strike to get in shape. All you need is garri, water and a little bit of air that will fill your stomach. The longer you can keep up, the faster you’ll get that gorgeous body. Just try not to land on a postmortem table.
- Avoid all modern means of transport:
By modern, I mean everything invented since the last millennium. The ultimate best is to trek as much as you can. If you’re going anywhere less than twenty kilometres, get your Galilee slippers and get on with it. Melt all the fat through your calf muscles.
- Relocate to a mountain top:
Why register at a gym when you can just relocate to the peak of a mountain? Make sure your workplace is at least another ten kilometres from the bottom of the hill. By the time you get to work every day, you’ll be panting all the fat away.
- Register at a fight club:
There’s no quicker way to get you in shape than registering at a fight club. They’d whoop you up a couple of times voluntarily and next thing, you’re a black belt holder too. You might even get recruited into bouncer jobs depending on how well you redistribute all the fat.
- Break all your mirrors:
When you stop seeing yourself, maybe you’ll stop judging your body. Once you see a mirror, carry a stone and throw it to shatter the mirror. What you can’t see is not real.
